


Coming to Rest

by scy



Category: Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 14:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scy/pseuds/scy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone has to act</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming to Rest

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Fate Turns Around and A Mile More.

After they left the restaurant, Aman and Rohit walked down to the water front. They didn't speak for almost five blocks, not until Rohit thought he had the right words.

"I didn't say thank you." Rohit knew it sounded like he was making a confession, and felt better just getting it out.

"What for?" Aman asked.

"Letting me have a chance with Naina, and punching me when I deserved it."

"Which time?"

"Any of them." Rohit grinned. "How do you stop yourself from doing it more often?"

"I have amazing self control."

"That must be it."

Aman leaned on a railing and Rohit stood next to him, staying close.

"I'm not good at saying stuff without getting into trouble," Rohit said.

"True."

"Just let me try, though, okay?" Rohit asked.

"Go ahead."

Rohit couldn't meet Aman's eyes while he braced himself. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you, not then. I mean, I wanted to, and I still do, but my timing was bad."

Aman's expression spoke volumes and Rohit winced.

"Yeah, I know that's an understatement. What I'm asking is for you to give me a second chance. You let me find you, I want to prove that it wasn't a mistake."

"That's really what you want?" Aman asked, and he sounded doubtful.

Rohit put a hand on Aman's shoulder. 'Yes, it is, but only if you do too. You've already given me so much, I don't want to ask for more."

"Since when?"

"I'm being serious, Aman."

"I know, and you're almost there."

When he got upset, which wasn't often, Rohit sometimes couldn't help but blurt things out. "I want you."

"You do?" Aman asked, grinning.

"Yes," Rohit said firmly and rested his hand on Aman's chest.

"Okay."

"You mean it?"

"What did I just say?" Aman asked, gesturing at the lack of space between them.

"Great," Rohit said, and kept running his fingers over the spot where Aman's hoodie had pulled away from his neck and his collarbone was exposed.

"Rohit?"

"Yeah?"

Aman glanced down at Rohit's hand. "What are you doing?"

"Touching you?"

"You don't seem sure," Aman said.

"If I am, are you going to do something about it?"

"I might," Aman said, and ran a finger over Rohit's hand, and hung on.

"I think we should kiss right about now," Rohit said.

"Do I have to do everything?" Aman asked.

Rohit bit his lip. He hadn't considered that Aman would test him quite like this, but they both knew that it had to happen. At first, he kissed Aman lightly, but when Aman didn't try and direct him and let Rohit figure out what he liked, it was easy. When he moved in a second time, Rohit tried a different approach and pressed Aman into the railing.

Aman allowed it, and laughed when Rohit couldn't decide where to put his hands. He guided Rohit against him until Rohit was resting between his legs, and Aman rested his hands in the small of Rohit's back, not hanging on, but exerting enough pressure to move him in slow purposeful circles.

Rohit couldn't get out much more than gasps as his fingers clenched on Aman's body and he barely stayed upright.

"We need to get inside," Aman said.

"Why?" Rohit couldn't imagine moving if it meant letting of Aman.

"Look around," Aman said and exhaled against Rohit's neck.

"Yeah?"

"Where are we?"

"In public?" Rohit asked.

Aman laughed. "Do you want to get arrested? Or freeze?"

"Not really."

"Then come on," Aman said.

Rohit had gone home with a few women, but never another guy and he had the distant feeling that he should be more nervous.

Aman led the way back to his apartment and lifted his hand off Rohit's back as they went through the doorway.

Rohit felt the mood change and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Aman asked.

"I came here with you," Rohit said.

"And have you ever been sure of what I was doing?" Aman asked.

"Not always," Rohit said. "Mostly not." He caught the shadow of something on Aman's face and grabbed him by the shoulder. "I don't know how this goes, but I want to, I trust you." He stepped in and kissed Aman on the cheek and then on the mouth. "Since when have you not been ready to tell me what I should do?"

"Not this."

"I want you to," Rohit said. He glanced around exaggeratedly. "You have a bedroom, right?"

Aman smiled. "You know where it is."

Rohit led the way, and as he sat down on the bed and Aman lay back beside him. "What do we do now?"

Aman reached out and ran his fingers across Rohit's lips. "You choose, Rohit."

"I don't know, that's the problem."

Aman stretched lazily and collapsed back into the pillows. "Well, when you figure it out, wake me up."

"You don't give me any credit."

"Just opportunities," Aman said.

"Have you done this with all your friends?" Rohit asked.

"Not many," Aman said. "And only the ones that I really like."

"Anyone lately?" Rohit asked.

Aman opened his eyes. "Just you."

Rohit pushed up on his knees and sat next to Aman, running a hand up and down his arm and moved gradually toward Aman's chest. He played with his sweatshirt and began unzipping it, eyes on Aman, to see if he objected at all.

Aman let him work the zipper downwards without a word, but as he watched Rohit fumble, he smiled. "If you take any longer I might fall asleep."

Rohit froze.

"No, you're doing fine."

"I'm not, really." Rohit's fingers were shaking.

"Then, don't," Aman said, and pulled Rohit up to rest on the pillow next to him. "You don't need to feel like you have to do this, or anything else, Rohit."

"I want to."

"Take it easy, you're going to pass out." Aman said, and Rohit grimaced.

He had been trying to show that he knew what he was doing, or had some idea, and this was exactly why it had been a good thing that Aman was around to help him win Naina's heart, because he was lousy at it.

"Sorry."

Aman patted him on the shoulder. "You passing out would just be too much." After that, he didn't say another word, and that tipped Rohit into action.

He decided to forget about being cool, and spoke up. "Do you mind if I do something I've been wanting to for a while?"

"As long as it's not you expressing your feelings with your fists," Aman said. "I'm all yours."

Even though he said it lightly, Rohit hoped, some part of Aman meant it, just a little, and he had to clear his throat.

"Can you take off your sweatshirt?"

"You were doing such a good job, though."

"Do it, please."

Aman was wearing a tank top underneath the hoodie and Rohit slid that off too. When he had Aman spread out and bare, Rohit could see the scars he'd glimpsed before. They had faded to white lines, but Rohit could still make them out clearly. As he lingered on them, Aman shifted almost nervously.

"Do you have a fetish?" Aman asked.

"No, I wanted to see," Rohit said, and rested his head over Aman's heart, keeping still and breathing in time with the beat.

Aman petted Rohit's hair and as his hand slid down to his face, Rohit turned his head to kiss Aman's fingers and then his palm. Somehow it was easier to put his mouth on Aman's now, and he tugged them closer together. Aman let Rohit be on top and laughed as Rohit straddled his hips.

"You look pleased."

"I am," Rohit said honestly and moved in to kiss him, like he had at the waterfront, but this time he didn't have to worry that anyone would interrupt them.

"Do you mind?" Rohit asked when they both pause to catch their breath.

"What now?" Aman asked. "You losing your nerve? I'm sort of used to it."

"Salaa," Rohit said.

Aman reached up and pulled Rohit into another kiss, putting his hands over Rohit's ears and shutting out everything but the sensation of Aman's mouth on his.

It wasn't like kissing a woman. Even though Naina liked to argue, she knew how to kiss sweetly, in a way that Rohit couldn't admit to anyone that he liked. But when he tried to do the same to Aman, he got a much different reaction.

"Is that how you kiss Naina?" Aman asked.

"Sometimes."

"Am I Naina?" Aman asked.

"No," Rohit said.

"Then try something else."

"Like what?"

"Figure it out," Aman said.

"I don't want to do this wrong."

"Stop thinking so hard about doing it right and just do what you want," Aman said, and stroked Rohit's cheek. "Which, if you have a thing for scars, all right, it's not what I would expect from you, but it's okay."

"It reminds me of what happened."

"My heart transplant?" Aman asked.

Rohit nodded. "That you nearly died."

"You're going to have to get over that someday. I have."

"How can you even do that?" Rohit asked and shoved at Aman angrily.

Tumbling backwards, Aman sighed. "You're spoiling the mood."

"And you're trying to avoid the question."

"So what if I am?"

"Don't," Rohit said and grabbed Aman's arm. "It matters to me, okay?"

"Okay," Aman slid down the bed and unbuttoned Rohit's jeans. "You're wearing red underwear."

"Yeah, I am, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

Rohit gulped. Every other time this had happened, it had always been a woman pulling his boxers down, and even as he fell back on the bed, he couldn't forget that this time, it was a man putting his hands on Rohit. He brought their hips together so that they moved together, and even though they didn't do more than undo their pants, having their skin together was overwhelming.

"Oh god."

It didn't take long, Rohit and Naina hadn't been very close lately, and Aman found what worked right away. Rohit couldn't do more than arch upwards and gasp. He grabbed one of the pillows and buried his face in it so he wouldn't make more noise than he was supposed to. That didn't last long, though, Aman yanked the pillow away and made a disbelieving noise.

"Are you trying to suffocate yourself?"

Rohit groaned. "I didn't want to be loud."

"You're going to be loud," Aman said. "Get used to it." He moved up along Rohit's body, then he shifted his hips and it was perfect, and Rohit threw the pillow across the room. While Rohit was still trying to get his breathing back under control, Aman moved next to him on the bed and stole the other pillow out from under Rohit's head.

"Hey."

"This is my pillow," Aman said.

"Yeah, but I need it, I think my brain melted," Rohit said.

"Not much chance of that happening."

Rohit swatted at Aman but for the most part, missed him entirely. "Not nice."

"I was just extremely nice," Aman said.

"Yeah, but-" Rohit had been making a point, but he couldn't remember what it was, and he frowned, which made Aman laugh.

"Really nice."

"I've never done that before," Rohit said.

"You managed," Aman said.

"It's not like it was hard," Rohit said, then thought about what he'd said and groaned.

"Yes, your brain did melt," Aman said. "Go to sleep, maybe you'll have recovered in the morning."

Rohit did, and realized that although it was nice going to sleep next to Aman, waking up to him cooking breakfast was almost as good, and he decided to do his best to make both a habit. Life was good between them at least, but other relationships weren't as pleasant, as Rohit told Aman over dinner several days later.

"The only bad thing is that Naina is even madder at me."

"What did you do now?" Aman asked.

"You think this is my fault?"

Aman didn't even hesitate a little bit. "Yes, so what happened?"

"Nothing, I just came home and it put her in a bad mood."

"What did you say to her?"

"I told I'd had a great time," Rohit said.

"What else?" Aman asked.

"Only that I was with a friend."

"Oh."

Rohit frowned. "What?"

"I can see why Naina is angry with you," Aman said.

"Tell me."

"She thinks you're having an affair."

"That's crazy." Rohit laughed. "I would never do a thing like that."

"What do you call what we did last weekend?" Aman asked.

"Having fun."

"It doesn't count?"

"Not really," Rohit said.

Aman stared at Rohit, and his face was unusually serious.

"Why not?"

"Because we're friends, Aman."

"And that's all you want? Friends, with benefits?"

"They're really great benefits," Rohit said, but faltered when Aman pulled back.

"What?"

"This needs to stop."

"Why?"

"Because you're going to hurt someone," Aman said.

"How?"

Aman shook his head and smacked Rohit on the back of the head as he got up. "You have to ask? How do you even get through your day without someone to help you?"

"I do just fine," Rohit said.

"Amazing." Aman pressed his hands against his face.

"What are you going to do?"

"Just one thing, and you're paying the cab fare," Aman said.

"Where are we going?"

"To your house."

"What?"

"I think you heard me just fine."

"Are you serious?"

Aman looked serious and unhappy, which was an answer by itself, and Rohit felt uneasy. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"It can't be worse than the ones you've been coming up with."

"Seriously, Aman, you want to tell Naina that you're alive?" Rohit asked.

"I don't want to be a secret you keep from her," Aman said.

Rohit ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the seat of the taxi. "I know, but you didn't want to tell anyone you were alive, and I haven't let anyone in on your secret."

"No, but it's hurting Naina," Aman said. "That is the last thing I wanted to do."

"Naina said goodbye to you, Aman, and you were supposed to be dead. She has been hurting." Rohit knew he wasn't being nice, but he felt like he was being called out for doing what both he and Aman wanted and that didn't seem fair.

"And we're making it worse," Aman said and stared out the window for the rest of the ride. True to what he'd said, he had Rohit pay the cabbie, and led the way to Rohit's front door. When he realized that Rohit was hovering on the steps behind him, Aman turned around and gestured impatiently for him to hurry up. "Come on."

"You really want to do this?"

"We're here, Rohit."

"We don't have to be." Rohit looked at the driveway and saw Naina's car parked there.

"Now, Rohit."

Rohit got his keys out and they went inside.

"Naina, are you home?" Rohit asked.

"I'm in the living room," Naina said.

"Just stay here a minute," Rohit said to Aman, and the other man hung back in the entryway.

Naina was going over the restaurant's accounts, papers spread over the table, hair tied up, pencil tucked into her ponytail. "What is it, Rohit?" she asked.

"What are you doing home this early?"

"Mom and Daadi are at the restaurant, it's been slow this afternoon and I wanted to get this done. Why, do you have a problem with me doing this at home?"

"No, I meant that I was surprised."

Naina turned a sheet of paper over and sat back on the couch. "And why are you home so early?"

"I needed to talk to you. About what's been going on."

"You think we need to talk?"

"Yeah."

"Why now? You haven't wanted to for the last week. What do you want?"

"To explain."

"Why would I want to listen?"

"Naina, please."

"Why now, Rohit?"

As she stared at him Rohit wondered how long he hadn't been seeing this. "This is my fault."

"Yes, it is. What happened to you?"

Rohit didn't know how to say it without making it sound even worse, so he was honest. "I met someone, and it changed things."

Naina bit her lip, and Rohit thought, horrified, that she might be about to cry. She wrapped her arms around herself, and bent over. Rohit stepped forward, about to say something, and Naina came up out of her seat with a notebook and threw it at his head.

"Naina, what-" Rohit ducked, and then retreated, as Naina grabbed anything heavy and close by and hurled it at him.

"You bastard, what is the matter with you? How could you do this to me, to us, why didn't you tell me you were unhappy? What is wrong with men?"

"I don't know, and I didn't meant to, and I'm not," Rohit said, crouched behind a chair and peeking around the side as he tried to calm Naina down.

"Then what are you?" Naina was standing in front of the chair with a lamp, and suddenly she looked past Rohit and it fell out of her hands. "Oh my god."

Aman stood far enough away that he would have time to get out of the way if Naina threw anything, and smiled painfully. "Hi, Naina."

"You're not dead."

"I guess not."

"You knew about this?" Naina said to Rohit, who was slowly coming out of hiding and who ducked down again when she glanced around and saw that only her four volume boxed set of accounting books was within reach. "How long?"

"Not long."

"A month or so," Aman said, and Naina swayed on her feet.

"Were you going to tell me?"

"I wanted to, but Aman said nobody needed to know."

"Moron," Naina said to Rohit and then turned her attention back to Aman. "Why?"

"You two were supposed to be happy. I didn't want to get in the way."

"You're not getting in the way of anything."

"He's not?" Rohit asked.

"No, because Rohit isn't even here most of the time and I don't know that he even wants to be."

"Naina-"

"You're having an affair."

"With Aman," Rohit said, and realized after he opened his mouth that he hadn't said the right thing.

"If you're trying to make her feel better, you are doing a very bad job," Aman said, and looked ready to jump clear of flying objects.

"Sorry."

"That's a start, but don't think we're done," Naina said. "You," she said, and couldn't take her eyes off Aman as she came slowly forward. He held his ground, eyes widening as she reached out, and Rohit waited, hoping that both of them were saying what they needed to as Naina's hands rested on Aman's face and he closed his eyes.

"Why did you go away?" Naina asked, voice trembling.

"I had to," Aman said.

"You left," Naina said, her voice trembling.

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't have to go."

"I couldn't stay."

"We wanted you to."

"Would anyone have understood?"

"You gave me away at my wedding," Naina said. "And you sat between us during the ceremony, that's where you should have stayed, for however long you had. Why did you go away?" Her voice rose and she grabbed Aman's shirt and hung on, balanced between tears and fury.

"Naina," Aman cupped her face and smiled. "You are loved, which is all I ever wanted for you, to be happy."

"But, I wanted you too," Naina said, and Aman nodded.

"I know."

"And you went to Rohit instead of me. Didn't you want me to know you were alive?"

"I did."

"Then what's wrong with you?" Naina prodded Aman with a finger, moving him back against the wall. "What took you so long?"

"If I'd known I'd get such a warm welcome, I would have shown up sooner," Aman said.

"Shut up, Aman, talk to me, tell me what you don't think I need to know."

"Naina, it's not important."

"It kept you away for years, Aman, and don't tell me that you couldn't have at least sent me a letter, just to tell me you didn't care anymore."

"That's not true."

"Then what stopped you?"

Aman wasn't looking away for Naina even for a second, and Rohit saw him think about moving away, but then reconsider when Naina's expression shifted.

"You don't get to tell me what I can handle, Aman."

Rohit came out from behind the chair and watched them.

"I didn't want to stop you from moving on."

"Who said I needed to?"

"The last time you saw me, you couldn't say goodbye, remember?"

Naina had run out of the room and Rohit had been left alone with Aman, and he had been the only person who Aman had been able to ask to stay for a little while. That abandonment showed on Aman's face, and Naina flinched.

"It hurt so much to see you like that, Aman, and I didn't want you to see me cry."

"Why? I'd seen you when you were soaking wet, and drunk, what are a few tears?"

"It wasn't the same. I couldn't help you."

"Well, you aren't a doctor, Naina, I didn't expect you to."

Naina stared at him. "Do you even get it? You help people all the time, it's sort of your job, and for once I wanted to do that for you and I couldn't even sit on your bed and hold your hand without losing it."

"I don't blame you for not wanting us to see you cry, you do look better when you're angry," Aman said.

"She does," Rohit said, and Naina didn't turn in his direction as she spoke.

"You are still in trouble."

"I am?"

"Rohit, don't argue with me unless you want to sleep in the garage for the next five years," Naina said.

"I know, I messed up, so how can I make it up to you?" Rohit asked.

"Explain to me why Aman is here and why he thinks he shouldn't be."

"I don't know, I've been trying to get him to come over."

"How?" Naina asked.

"By talking to him."

Naina did give him a disbelieving look. "That's all you tried?"

"Well, I didn't think the other stuff would work, and he started it."

"Because you wouldn't stop trying to fix things," Aman said. "Badly."

"Can you see him doing anything else?" Aman asked.

"He does what he can, and he means well," Naina said, but her tone was too soft to be a good sign and when Rohit would have spoken up, Naina cut him off.

"My husband, and my dead friend were sleeping together and didn't tell me that he came back from the dead."

"He wasn't actually dead," Rohit said.

"Might as well have been," Naina said.

"And we haven't slept together," Rohit said.

"Yes we have," Aman said.

"You're not helping."

"I'm trying to keep you from getting killed."

"But I don't want to live in the garage, either, it's kind of cold out there."

"Oh, the garage is the least of your worries," Naina said. "Mom and Daadi want to have a talk with you after dinner this weekend."

Rohit moved closer to the chair. "Can we cancel?"

"No," Naina said and Rohit winced. The garage might the safest option.

"You're coming too," Naina said to Aman, who shook his head. "Aman, you've hidden from all of us for long enough."

Aman shook his head. "No."

"Why not? I know you're alive and so does Rohit, don't the rest of them deserve to hear the truth?"

"Not right now."

"What are you waiting for?" Naina asked and her voice rose. "When will you decide to just drop in on them too?"

"Naina, you can't make him do this," Rohit said. "Not if he doesn't want to."

"You got him to come here."

"He was the one who said it was time to talk to you," Rohit said, ashamed that he hadn't wanted to tell Naina, but more worried about the way that Aman was stiffening up and moving away from them. "He's not ready."

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to come back, Naina," Aman said. "I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Then you shouldn't have left," Naina said, and Aman broke into her impending tirade.

"Naina, shut up." Aman looked down after he spoke sharply, and then Naina laughed.

"You're still the best at that." Naina wiped her eyes. "Okay, I get it, the rest of this doesn't matter, and you don't want to talk about it yet. I just want to know, are you going to stay?

"Do you want me to?" Aman asked, and rocked back on his heels when Naina grabbed him and hugged him hard. He and Rohit looked at each other over Naina's head, and Aman nodded, putting his arms around Naina.

As Rohit stepped closer, he laid a hand on each of their shoulders and let himself relax. Whatever else was wrong, they at least they were together, and that was an acceptable distinction.


End file.
